Gaps

Gaps

At some point, the light fades and all grows dark under the shadow of a larger, more significant, more powerful thing that steals and imbibes everything that once gave you life, meaning, purpose, a life worth living. When that point comes, no one can say, and no one can know. In fact, no one will even know that the shadow has been cast upon you, since the mind is an elusive place where creatures roam and beings taunt. 

Today, in my own experience, marks the slivered beginnings of a thing casting its shadow over some part of me that I can neither name nor recognize in full at this point of the process. What matters more to me at this stage, if I’m being completely honest, revolves around what happens next, post-eclipse, when the thing moves and I am left, bright, exposed again? I find the situation quite difficult through the lack of general understanding about my plight when I speak to other people about it.

A gap has made itself known to me, and the only way to fill a gap is to be aware of it, see it, know it for what it is. Only through knowing the gaps in my knowledge and/or ability can I ever hope to fill them. Nevertheless, to find them requires both physical and psychological turmoil. The best discoveries—I learned today—also include an egoic breakdown. Finding them encapsulates the true challenge, and yet, here I am now, having found a gap with no knowledge about how to fill it, since the world at large, meaning, the people within it, have no idea what I’m talking about.