The idea is to not become totally invisible when exposed to light, however, the problem of over-exposure still remains despite whatever warnings and labels the producer of the thing wants to make you believe and/or feel and/or accept as the truth of the matter and the product. The thing that really irks the consumer of such, falsely albeit wholly truthful item is that, there’s no way to receive one’s money in return for turning invisible. And it’s not so much that you actually become invisible. It’s that you simply no longer exist.
“When in doubt, write it out,” she captions her lovely photo/selfie as she sits, picturesque, inside the large, oversized, steampunk-esque windows of her downtown loft. Yea, she thinks to herself in praise of her turn of phrase, but then she comes to a complete and utter mind-blank. Write what out? Write down my thoughts? What am I thinking? She goes even further into blankness, turning from sheer white to clear. Has she disappeared completely, she wonders.
If the sun hits the glass at exactly the right angle, the glass disappears. Not in the sense that the glass loses its reflective quality, no. It fully disappears. A hand can be placed through where the pane ought to be, but no air is felt breezing through what ought to be a gaping hole. She contemplates a few options but ultimately, decides to jump.
The itch and scratch of something being both entirely not right but not entirely wrong either. She switches pens. The thought or the vague grasping, gnawing thought demolishes her sense of perception and she can’t feel the tips of her fingers, or is it that she can’t feel through the tips of her fingers? She’s unsure. How could or How can, is it?, she recognizes or understands or perceives the difference in whether or not she can’t feel the tips of her fingers or whether it’s that she can’t feel through the tips of them.
Everything’s made of concrete, which he imagines, means something for some reason under some circumstance. The weirdest thing, nevertheless, is that he’s in public, which means, he believes he must be fully clothed, and honestly, there’s nothing worse than being clothed while everyone can see you, judge you, pretend to know or glean something from you solely by your appearance, your outer appearance, your financial choices regarding how you spend money on the clothes you wear. Are you capable of spending more? Do you choose to spend less than you can afford?
Had she known then what she knows now, she would’ve spent that $1,000 on a plane ticket to nowhere rather than to somewhere she definitely now knows she’d rather not be. And then, the feeling that these people’s reading level and intellectual ability are not what they ought to be given their age and employment, but who is she to judge except to say that people really are stupid about their own stupidity, and she can’t decide if that also then inevitably makes her stupid as well.
Speed Session at Auckland Central City Library, Friday 21 September 2018
(2MIN X 6)