‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

There was no way in hell he would’ve or could’ve known that trying to get his head through the small opening at the top of the boat would not work out as well as he had planned. He never even knew why he wanted so badly to try to fit his head through the hole, except that it (the hole) looked roughly the size of his head, and “To measure one’s self,” he always said, “against the measurable is what truly matters in life.” “You can’t measure yourself against that which cannot be measured,” he always reasoned, if only to himself. But that shouldn’t matter he reckons.

Nevertheless, here he is now, stuck with his stupid fucking head popping out from the floor of the boat. Why or how no one had noticed him yet was beyond him, but what could he do but wait for someone to notice him, to see a person in his particular predicament. No one would assume that he was stuck, perhaps. The horrible issue was that no one ever walked by. No one wanted to take their boats out for a ride this beautifully sunny day, and now he’s going to get burnt. He just knows that the salt to this wound will inevitably be a burn on his face.

And then suddenly, as if from nowhere, he hears a small voice call out from afar. “Hello?” the voice asks. “Hi! Yes, hello!” he yells. “Hello?” the voice repeats in a low to high tone. “Hi! Hello! Yes, I can hear you! Can you hear me?” he yells again. “I can’t hear you, but I can see you,” the voice explains. “Oh, where are you? Can you help me?” he shouts as he attempts to walk his head around to see if he can see who owns the voice. “What happened?” the voice inquires. “My head’s stuck!” he yells. “What?” the voice asks. “My head! It’s stuck in the floor!” the man answers. Silence. “Hello?” the man shouts in attempt to elicit a response from whoever was there. “Hello?” he tries again. “Shit,” he sighs as he slinks back into the hole and attempts to free himself. “Shit!”

With a shimmy and another good pull and a twist, he feels as though he will definitely pull an ear off if he creates any more tension upon his face.



10 MIN