20 May 2020

20 May 2020

All-in-all, I’m feeling pretty good. The yoga challenge is going well, although, I am more sore (sorer?) than I have been in the past. Perhaps this is not true. I remember how much pain my body was in after my first yoga challenge with @cyogalife many years ago, but for some reason, I guess I thought that I was in better shape. Why I thought this is beyond me, except to say that I was feeling pretty good about my yoga progress and so, took on this month’s #challenge, but the reality is that cyogalife is one bad bamf. The challenge matters less than the fact that I really want to do each of the month’s postures really really well, and this requires my full attention (while doing yoga) and full energy (to do the postures well). This is also probably why I have only accomplished a handful of challenges in a handful of years.

In other news, there’s nothing but irony floating and wafting its way through our social consciousness—meaning that those who voted for the sitting “morbidly obese” president are those who are being affected/harmed the most by these happy-coronavirus-times (read sarcasm).

In other thoughts, I am in the mood to read again (by mid-April, I basically refused to read books) and am thusly reading. I’m currently reading The Knowledge Illusion by Philip Fernbach and Steven Sloman, Shades in Shadow by N.K. Jemisin, Popular by Mitch Prinstein, and The Influential Mind by Tali Sharot. These are all ebooks, obviously, downloaded to a kindle that I’ve had to dust off after a few years of not needing it due to the recent (last year or so) proliferation/accessibility of library books in English, once we returned to These United States from Seoul. But now the kindle has become an essential aspect of these quarantine times. Oh, and I made fun of my favorite, kinda-dumb beauty influencer (cause they all are) who now has a book club by participating in an ig thinga-ma-bobby, wherein I basically called her stupid. I didn’t even feel bad.

In other randomness, I’ve been playing a lot of video games and trying to achieve some actual xbox achievements (gamertag: angstydaisy), since I have the time. Mostly I’m playing Geometry Wars 2 (yes, old, I know; we also have and play 3, but I don’t like it as much), Borderlands 3 (makin’ mayhem, man!), and Prominence Poker (cause I will destroy you).

And what remains the same? Pretty much everything else. Writing (as you can see), reading, cooking, eating, listening, watching, staying at home…still. I’m even more terrified to go out now than I was before because people (white people) are fucking nuts…just like I said. So, mostly, I am trying to mind my own business, wearing a mask every time I go outside (despite whether or not I think I will see people), leaving only to shop for food and take walks around a large, open park, and trying my best to stay afloat in this mindset of gratitude for the position I am in…for now, and desperately trying to stay optimistic about the future while also accepting that the past cannot come into this new future; we must leave the beforetimes where they belong, in the past.




It wasn’t fear; it was shame.

If he were to tell you himself, he has never experienced fear. And if he were to tell you why, he would say that he has never known the feeling, the emotion, the plague. But what he would not be so willing to share would be the impetus behind his lack of fear, his lack of normal human experience, and the obvious answer is simply that he is not human. No educated reader, however, would take this as a good explanation or effective explanation. To which he would coolly reply, “So what.”


I’ll ask the questions.

I’ll ask the questions.

“Alright, now remember these … um … questions, and answer them as quick as you can, you hear? Great. Oh-kay, one, What exactly were you trying to accomplish? Two, Who the hell is that guy? Three, What did the little dog play? Oh, shit, no. Not that. Number three, Where or where did the little dog play? Shit! Uh, sorry, yea, I didn’t mean to scare you. Uh, num. ber. FOUR, How long have you know your ‘friend,’ Sarah?  Read more


‘Green Queen’



Black on black on black on green,

green like the green of an envious queen

who wears the crown as she drowns in self-loathing

and dares to frown in a gown contrived to belie the power posing.

Pull back the curtain on necessitated self-esteem

or be certain in a sending to the guillotine.

Plebs plead, fleece and pilfer just to get a glimpse of the debs

as they wince at life’s boring routine; it’s obscene,

a lame attack.

Green on green on green on black,

black like the black of a necrotic claque.