I’m not jealous. You’re jealous.

I’m not jealous. You’re jealous.

There’s general jealousy, like envy, a sort of wanting of something that you admire, but you know that it will not satisfy you once you have it. Then there’s a deep, dark, rage-type jealousy that includes (but is absolutely not limited to) wishing you were as talented and/or intelligent as someone else, that you could be that amazing, celebrity-like, star person. And then there’s the type of jealousy that just makes you want to kill yourself, end it all in the name of “What the hell is the point of me even trying when someone like her already exists?” The “her” in question is none other than Ursula K. Le Guin.

Like all of my favorite writers, I found out about Le Guin not long before she passed away. I’ve read a number of her short stories and novels, but the truth is that I prefer her nonfiction, well, just the one nonfiction I’ve read so far (aside from essays and other, shorter nonfiction), No Time To Spare: Thinking about what matters. It’s a beautiful book about aging, growing older, being old. It’s the type of book that I wish I could simply quote in its entirety here, but obviously, that’s illegal. The book, nevertheless, is that good. I could and would gladly transcribe the thing in its entirety for you to read. Of course, you can, as easily, check the book out yourself from your local library (and I would encourage you to do so).

And so, I have decided to choose my top five quotes, the quotes that are resonating with me the most these days. They are as follows (okay, my top 6), in page order as opposed to order of importance, which would, theoretically, be impossible to determine:

6. “Old age is for anybody who gets there.” (p 9)

5. “When did it become impossible for our government to ask its citizens to refrain from short-term gratification in order to serve a greater good?” (p 118)

4. “It’s so much easier to blame the grown ups than to be one.” (p 123)

3. “Cruelty is a human specialty, which human beings continue to practice and perfect and institutionalize, though we seldom boast about it.” (p 151)

2. “Belief has no value in itself that I can see. Its value increases as it is useful, diminishes as it is replaced by knowledge, and goes negative when noxious. In ordinary life, the need for it diminishes as the quantity and quality of knowledge increases.” (p 195)

1. “The warmth of the sun is on my face as soon as its light is.” (p 211)

Now, Also Forever: An Adoptee’s Complex

Now, Also Forever: An Adoptee’s Complex

This may sound like a really strange thing to say, but I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’m an adult. Maybe the notion of realizing something so obvious doesn’t actually sound that ridiculous. Maybe my peers have recently felt or currently feel this way. Maybe other already-deemed-adult adults felt this way in the past. Maybe other aspiring adults have yet to feel this way. Nevertheless, the feeling remains, and I exist not under any delusion that I am unique or special in this feeling. My feeling, however, includes a unique but not altogether special quality; I am a Korean adoptee. Maybe you’ve heard of us?  Read more

For the Nth Time

For the Nth Time

We stole wifi yesterday. We stole free wifi. A search guilded from an attempt to be known, classified into two distinct options: With or Without Work. To condense the self into a few neatly aligned pixels, organized by skill and opportunity, arranged where the light shines brightest. The only thing to be trusted is the word of a self-proclaimed liar.

She cries aloud, “Why didn’t we … ?” He chuckles aloud, “It was time to grow up, live a different type of life, to go after the life we want.”  Read more

The Rich Man & The Veteran

The Rich Man & The Veteran

There once lived a man of great wealth. Although a doctor by trade, the rich man, of course, amassed his great fortune through other endeavors. Skilled at understanding the power of generosity, the rich man built his reputation around his ability to solve problems. Free, however, these solutions were not. Nevertheless, the rich man endeavored to create solutions for simple problems, in a way that only he could, as a learned doctor. And so, the rich man lived happily, traveling the world, promoting (and selling) his creations to all who believed in his generously spirited products.  Read more

About Parents

About Parents

“It’s the intention that drives us; it’s the unintended that defines us.”

For adults who were once children, the important thing to remember about parents is that they are, first and foremost, people. And the problem with people is that they are immensely prone to fallacy. People, as a whole, are less than ideal beings when considering other people, removing one’s self from the broader notion of humanity in order to consider humanity as a whole. Therefore, when a person becomes a parent, that parent then becomes a person with great expectation, a person unable to remove him/herself from the equation of the child’s life. And these types of parents, who hold great expectations for their child (or children) are the worst.  Read more