How Red & Blue Make Green

How Red & Blue Make Green

A while back, a friend of mine (whom I will not name, nor will I draw too much attention to as he is both white and male, but mostly because I honestly don’t think he wants the attention or the credit, so he will remain nameless and referred to only as a he/friend :) said something to me after I asked him something regarding his toddler daughter that I cannot remember now (&was clearly, largely unimportant) to which he responded (&I’m paraphrasing here as I am also too lazy to go into my DMs to get an exact quote), “When she says, ‘No,’ I completely surrender so that I can model what should happen if she says ‘No’ to a man.” 

I thought about this for a long time, not because I didn’t agree with what he was saying, but rather, because there was something clearly deeper at work, but my mind couldn’t quite come up with it on the spot. Obviously, I cheered him on and encouraged him, like I would any father who has taken on the parenting role of father head-on, but what he said to me has been brewing in the back of my mind for some time now, and I finally have a little something of a nugget about which to write.

Perhaps he’s on to the nugget of truth that in America (perhaps in other places as well, but I can only speak to white [yes, I am Korean, and I recently learned in Franchesca Ramsey’s book that I’m technically transracial…as in, born of a specific race but transplanted, i.e. adopted, into another racial custom, not ‘transracial’ like the disgusting trend of not-black folks posing as black] American life with confidence) ‘No’ doesn’t mean No. And the sad thing is, I cannot even count how many times I’ve heard men (boys, who am I kidding) say things akin to, “99 Nos and 1 Yes is a Yes,” etc. 

And then all of this made me realize that if Americans are unwilling to respect someone’s “No,” then they are quite literally incapable of respecting anyone at all. Everyone loves a Yes-Man, but a No-Woman is seen as troublesome. So, there it is. 

“I can’t breathe.”

In America, No doesn’t mean No. It means nothing at all, which means that words, as a whole, largely have no meaning here in These United States. 

But that can all change! It’s easy. 

We need to respect the words coming out of each other’s mouths.

No matter how much we may disagree with them, no matter how flawed we believe them to be, no matter how uncomfortable the words are making us, we all have the right to say what we want, to be heard, and to hear. But this does not mean that your words have no consequence. In order to truly be heard, we need to be creatures that can hear, can see, can understand the truths of each other. We don’t live in a simulation. If we did, we could all feel the underlying programmed truth &or reality. We live inside our own heads with our own brains that interpret the world for us in our own unique way. This means that in order to get inside each other’s heads, we must speak, communicate, use words (&yes, obviously, people who are incapable of using their physical voices are quite able to communicate with words). This also means that in order for you to successfully get inside someone else’s head, you must listen to what they are saying; you must hear them.

There are no right answers to life. 

There is no right way to live. 

There is only the right to live. 

When someone says something to you, and you say, “No,” to be disrespected and not heard means that that person does not care about your right to your own life. They desire to control you. They see you as a piece in their life. The people who respect your Nos are the ones who ask you why you’re saying no in the first place. Imagine if, when a coworker (or whoever) says no to you, instead of becoming frustrated or upset that they’re not going to “do something for you,” you simply asked why they’re saying no. Maybe it’s because you’re perceived as lazy so they don’t want to help you out. Maybe they’re just tired because they were up all night with the baby, and they just need a break today. Maybe they just don’t want to, and it’s none of your business why; do it yourself, etc. The bottomline is that the reason for their “No” matters a lot less than the fact that they’re saying it. 

Yea, of course, we all have to do stuff we don’t like (which is obviously my concern when hearing this strategy from a parent), but the larger, more important Truth is that we need to respect the words that come out of each of our mouths. Perhaps if we do this, we will be more careful about what actually comes out of our mouths because now we actually feel like someone is hearing us, listening to us, validating our right to life. 

On Whiteness

On Whiteness

DISCLAIMER …even though everything within me is telling me not to post this, not to be angry, not to say these things, not to stoop to the level of “white equality,” i’m doing it anyway for those of you who cannot scream in rage because the powers that be will not hear you due to their racism blinding them to your voice. …perhaps they will not hear me either because i am a minority female as well, but i am part of a different group, and therefore, may be able to say what everyone wants to say but can’t because…well, it’ll upset the whites. …but perhaps it’s also time for me to take advantage of my racial positioning in this racist country and say whatever the fuck i want because maybe…just maybe…due to my race…i’ll get away with it. …in short…perhaps it’s time to use the same language that whites use to talk about white people. 

You were warned. Read at your own risk.

…to those of you whites out there who are perhaps insulted by being called white or insulted by being lumped in with “those types of white people” or who are insulted by being labeled as a racist for being white, FUCK YOU. If you’re white, you’re racist. If you’re white, you’re a murderer. If you’re white, you’re an oppressor. If you’re white, you’re an enemy of progress. If you’re white, you’ve done nothing to truly earn anything you’ve been GIVEN. If you’re white, you’re lazy as fuck cause you’re always willing to pay someone or enslave someone (with money unearned but given, remember) to do the work for you, while you take all the credit and the profits. 

That is the definition of white written in the blood of white behavior. Whether or not you’re actively racist, an actual murderer, whether or not you “embody whiteness,” in the eyes of your own white world, you are white according to the color of your skin. Silence is compliance, and your complicity and overwhelming ignorance is disgusting (and you white friends of mine out there have not been given a “pass” because we’re friends). DO THE FUCKING WORK!

And yea, trust me, I fully understand that irritating idiom that I’ve had spit in my face time and time again that “You catch more bees with honey than vinegar,” but guess what type of people say this sorta shit, WHITE PEOPLE. 

I’m at a point now where I feel as though I shouldn’t know or associate myself with any white people, but my lifemate and bodybuddy is white, AND HE HAS DONE THE WORK, and he continues to do the hard work of understanding his new position and responsibility in this world. 

And guess what, his new role, his new responsibility means no longer being on top, no longer getting things he hasn’t earned, no longer being the representative of competence, no longer given the credit for work he has done. My white person has done the hard work, has cried tears at the world he grew up in, has extricated himself from a well-off family because they continue to prove that they care more about their white selves than about equality and justice for all. I don’t need to cut him out of my life because he supports me and everyone else trying to fight for their freedom. I can’t say this about all the white people I know, unfortunately. 

So yea, I am about to write off all white people (my white parents included [yes, I’m a 100% Korean Adoptee]) because this is just about the last time we will need them. And the only reason why I do not feel compelled to continue to kiss white ass is because white people need to vote for Biden this cycle for their own well-being. 

Don’t get it crooked, most white people will not be voting for Biden out of some newly envisioned utopia of an America where American descendants of slaves and all other oppressed groups become equal. Most white people will “do the right thing” this election due to one fact, and one fact only: 45 is destroying their ECONOMIC way of life. Most white people will “do the right thing,” this time, whether or not it’s in the name of racial equality because their financial necks are officially on the line now. 

And so, you can write them off because next time, in the next presidential election and every election to follow, we will not need them, because they will be the minority. Yes, I know this is not the right thing to say, but I do not care. Why should I?

This is why, if you are white, you’d better get on this racial equality bandwagon, because every single person who knows you knows whose side you’re on, right now, and soon, being white, a descendant* of murderers, will be a liability. So befriend some minorities now, if you’re lucky enough to know one, before it’s too late.  

And yea, I’m henceforth judging white people by the color of their skin because that’s white equality. 

Oh and because when it comes to mass shootings and whether or not my life is in danger, whiteness is synonymous with murderer. So, yea, if you’re “white” you might also want to figure out a way to extricate yourself from whiteness and what it means to be white because when the world sees you, they see the color of your skin, and the color of your skin is white, and white equals murder. 

Oh, you don’t know how to be something other than white?, oh wah, boo boo, Welcome to the Club.

*don’t come at me with whatever asian stereotypes you think will make asians “as bad as whites” …i know them all…white people have already told them all to me.