Oh, geez.

Oh, geez.

She stands and wipes at her brow. Sticky, a dark black substance dabs off on her fingertips. What. The. Hell, she thinks curiously to herself. She turns and checks the rest of her physical state. Disheveled, a foot not shod reveals the wiggle of her toes. That. Is. Good, she decides confusedly to herself. Read more

Import the Self

Import the Self

A beggar walks up to a man dressed in—what the beggar assumes is—fancy attire and humbly lowers himself to be small and frail looking. “Sir, could you spare a dollar?” The man stops in his tracks. With the beggar at his side, the man slowly turns to look the beggar in his face. Read more

She sneaks; she shoves.

She sneaks; she shoves.

Breaking it in is the best way, she knows, to really get to know a new sex toy. This time, the lucky toy is the Ultra Deep, silicon with ribbed glass boning, in a deep, deep, purple. The glass innards can easily slip out of the thing if playtime is less rough. For now, she’ll settle for getting a quick mouthfeel of the thing. Read more

The Garden

The Garden

He always knew that her happiest day would be that fated day when she would die. Now she’s dead. Obviously, he’s not happy, but he is on some level since he knows that all she ever wanted was to no longer be alive. And so, if part with her physically he must, with happiness and goodness, he will and at the very least, selfishly keep her alive by using her physical remains to nourish the garden she tended to every single day, in the long shadow of his envy. Read more

Leaving Means Arriving

Leaving Means Arriving

She never wanted to be here in the first place, so yea, she’s glad to be leaving, but then the reality of the situation dawns on her. Leaving here means arriving somewhere else and that elsewhere is somewhere she also does not know whether or not she will like. She just wants to go nowhere. She wants to be nowhere. And perhaps, this idyllic place is exactly all of the things that she knows she will love and want to be … stay … forever in this place that embodies all of the things she needs in a place with nothing she doesn’t want. Read more

As The Only Male

As The Only Male

The obvious reason reveals that he loved women and felt threatened by men and so, needed to secure his place within the hierarchy of his workplace by being the only man. The truth, however, remains as such: He wants to work alongside women because the world, after all, has been slowly becoming a woman’s world, and as all men now know, there’s really no way to understand or interact well within the world of women as a man, because frankly, men have no idea what women do or think about or want on any given day. Read more

‘First Class Was Not What It Seemed’

‘First Class Was Not What It Seemed’

One of the ladies begins her spiel over the intercom, “Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Air Canada flight 8109 to Vancouver.” The announcement continues. He looks around and about himself and soon realizes that he can’t really get a good look at anyone else on the flight without literally standing up and taking an awkward look around. Lame. He wants to see who he’s rubbing elbows with, whose air he’s sharing. Read more

The Wizard Wanted All The Facts

The Wizard Wanted All The Facts

And he needed or needs to know exactly how the situation unfolded. Was the confrontation instigated by a third party? Who stuck around to watch until the conclusion? Were you directly involved? The small boy looks smug, unmoved, moored to his persistent attitude that it all had really been nothing but a case of mistaken identity. Of course, the wizard, the boy concluded, knew that this could happen to anyone, especially someone as young as he. Read more

Picking Fruit

Picking Fruit

The place embodies or brings to life the definition of boredom. He spots a small statue. Reaching up, he gently palms the tiny genitalia as the entire piece, testis and all, crack and gently land in his hand. “What in all hell?” some southern lady in an over-sized hat exclaims with as much dignity as possible. “I …” he stammers as he whispers barely-audible expletives. Read more

As Planned

As Planned

No one could tell her what to do no matter how sound or helpful the advice turned out to be. But being as cunning as she was, her sister knew that the only true way to get her to do anything was to tell her the opposite of whatever it was that you wanted to have her do. And so, she made a plan to convince her sister to take her out to the mall, even though, what she really wanted was for her to stay home. Read more